I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i just google imaged poop.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
