I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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