I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I will be naked everywhere
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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