there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
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