So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
