using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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