next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Swine flu is the new snow day.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
