I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
