Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
