I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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