i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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