Where are you?
In a non slutty way
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
