I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
i out mim tonsoeep
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