I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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