I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
