3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
The ass gains better be worth it
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
