You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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