never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
