I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
