it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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