We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
