i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
