Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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