i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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