we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
