Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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