What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
