ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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