oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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