Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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