those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
