i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
