you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
That's intense
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
