Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
