he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
