Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
