He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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