I puked a lego.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
