I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
