Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
