It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
