I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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