even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
