She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
