i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
