Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
