i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
