That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
