Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
