shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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